One year gone, one year on,
but I remember you.
That little girl
with a cherry red flame of hair
that was to be the colour of your life,
hot and vivid and passionate.
I remember the fear in the eyes
of the young woman you became
when thay said you carried more life,
and the joy when she was born.
I remember your middle years
the sad days, and bad days
when you were lost and bottled
and not sure what you should be,
wife or mother or daughter or sister,
or something that you wanted to be
but didn’t know how.
I often wonder if there was any way
I could have made you like yourself.
I remember the look on your face
when love found you out at last
and the love on his face
when you looked at him.
His face is now unseeable.
I wish I could have made you happier
though I still don’t know how to do that
even for myself.
It isn’t a thing that comes easily
to anyone in our family.
I wish it was.
I wish you could have stayed.
I wish I had said everything
I should have said to you
when you were still here to hear.
Now you are simply
here in my heart.
I still remember you,
I will remember you